THE UNDERBELLY OF AMERICAN “CONSERVATISM,” OR “THE CONSCIENCE OF A PROGRESSIVE 2018”
COMPILATION AND COMMENTARY
BY LUCY WARNER
FEBRUARY 16, 2018

DEAR MS. WILHELM, MY AIM IS NOT TO EMBARRASS YOU, BUT TO SAY MY PIECE. YOU HAD YOUR TURN, AND NOW IT’S MINE. I DO HOPE GOOGLE WILL NOT CONSIDER THIS RESPONSE TO YOU BREAKING THE RULES OF THE BLOGGER PROGRAM. I CERTAINLY WILL USE NO PROFANITY OR BE AS PURELY RUDE AS YOUR ARTICLE IS. I KNOW THAT THESE ARE UNDOUBTEDLY YOUR TRULY FELT CONCERNS AND I RESPECT THAT. I WISH YOU WELL, BUT PLEASE DON’T USE YOUR POSITION AT A WELL-KNOWN RIGHTWING PUBLICATION TO SMEAR A GOOD MAN. KNOCKING BERNIE SANDERS, A PURIST FOR SURE, BUT BY NO MEANS STUPID OR INSANE, IS A CHEAP TRICK THAT I’VE SEEN SEVERAL TIMES LATELY, AND I BELIEVE IT IS A PART OF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY’S PLAN TO STOP HIM. WHY? BECAUSE THEY FEAR HIM, OF COURSE.

I’M STICKING WITH HIM, NO MATTER WHAT YOU OR OTHERS LIKE YOU SAY. FAIRNESS MEANS MORE THAN OBSCENELY GREAT WEALTH, AUTOCRACY, AND MILITARY POWER TO ME, AND “GREATNESS” CERTAINLY DOES. I WANT THE AMERICA THAT I KNEW AS A CHILD TO COME BACK, WITHOUT THE BLATANT RACISM, OF COURSE, BUT FAILING THAT, I’M GOING TO CONTINUE WHAT I CONSIDER TO BE “THE GOOD FIGHT” UNTIL I DIE, OR UNTIL THE COUNTRY CRUMPLES DOWN OF ITS’ OWN INCREASING VICIOUSNESS. WHEN I WAS YOUNG, THERE WERE “CONSERVATIVES” THEN, ALSO, BUT THEY DIDN’T INVOLVE THEMSELVES WITH THE RADICAL, AMORAL, OFTEN INSANE AND IGNORANT FAR RIGHT, AS TODAY’S TEA PARTY CROWD HAVE DONE. YOU WON’T BRING BACK JIM CROW EASILY, AND IF YOU TRY THERE WILL BE PANDEMONIUM.

LET’S NOT FORGET THE NOW KNOWN ROLE OF RUSSIA’S MACHINATIONS IN THAT OUTRIGHT POWER GRAB OF 2016. YOU GUYS ARE RUINING YOUR PARTY. THERE ARE STILL A FEW GOOD ONES LEFT WHO ARE HUMANE AND COURAGEOUS, BUT NOT MANY. THAT IS SAD. YOU GUYS ON THE RIGHT TOOK THAT GREAT OLD MOVIE “WALL STREET” TOO MUCH TO HEART. GREED IS NOT “GOOD,” AND IT NEVER WILL BE, BECAUSE IT IS SO DESTRUCTIVE. DO YOU CALL YOURSELF A “CHRISTIAN” ALSO, I WONDER?

YOU MAY THINK THAT TRUMP HAS BETTER POLITICAL VIEWS (WE DISAGREE ON THAT), BUT YOU MUST ADMIT IN YOUR HEART OF HEARTS THAT HE IS A TOTAL RASCAL IN ALMOST EVERY WAY, GROSSLY OVERWEIGHT AND NOT NEARLY AS HANDSOME AS HE THINKS HE IS, AS WELL. BUT THE MOST UNFORGIVEABLE TO ME IS THAT HE HAS SOLD THIS COUNTRY OUT TO OUR ARCHENEMY (TREASON, SURELY) OVER HIS OWN DESIRE FOR POWER, POWER AND POWER. (OH YES, AND MONEY, MONEY, MONEY.) THERE ARE MANY GOOD CHRISTIAN AMERICANS (MOSTLY NOT FUNDAMENTALISTS, UNFORTUNATELY) WHO TAKE THE TEACHINGS OF JESUS AS A PLAN FOR ACTION HERE ON EARTH IN OUR LIFETIME, WITH THE GOAL BEING TO ACTUALLY WORK TOWARD PEACE ON EARTH. THEY ARE ALSO BETTER CITIZENS, TOO, BECAUSE THEY AREN’T TRYING TO TURN THIS COUNTRY INTO A THEOCRACY; THEY JUST WANT TO BE DECENT FOLKS AND HAVE A MORAL, FAIR DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC.

BEST WISHES TO YOU. YOU’RE PROBABLY A GOOD PERSON AT HEART. JUST REMEMBER THAT READING GOOD THINGS – NOT AYN RAND’S MIND-TWISTING BOOKS – IS A WAY TO A BETTER HEART AND SOUL. I HAVE A PIECE OF ADVICE FOR YOU. CATERING TO THE NEO-NAZIS WON’T HELP YOU FOR VERY LONG IN THE USA. WE ARE BETTER THAN THAT AS A WHOLE, AND SOME OF US REMEMBER HITLER AND THE HORROR OF WWII. WE AREN’T GOING BACK THERE WITHOUT A FIGHT.

AS FOR MY CAR, THAT’S A FUTILE WORRY FOR YOU. I’LL DO WHAT I DARNED WELL PLEASE, NO MATTER WHAT PEOPLE OF THE HIDE-BOUND TRADITIONAL VIEWPOINTS THINK. THEY’RE NO FRIENDS OF MINE. DON’T YOU WORRY. I WON’T TRY TO JOIN YOUR COUNTRY CLUB. OH, YES. MY COPY OF BERNIE’S BOOK “THE SPEECH” IS ON THE FRONT SEAT WHERE I CAN GRAB IT FAST TO READ WHENEVER THE TRAFFIC GRINDS TO A STOP. WE HAVE A LOT OF TRAINS HERE IN JACKSONVILLE.

P.S. YOU ARE A CUTE YOUNG WOMAN. I LOOKED AT YOUR PICTURE. I’M AN OLD WOMAN WHO ISN’T VERY CUTE ANYMORE. BEST TO YOU IN YOUR YOUNG LIFE, AS MINE MOVES TOWARD THE BACK STRETCHES. PARDON ME FOR DIVIDING YOUR BLOG UP BY PARAGRAPHS. IT’S TRUE THAT MY WORD PROGRAM TOOK YOURS OUT, BUT I SIMPLY CAN’T READ THAT KIND OF THING. IT REMINDS ME OF THAT PSEUDO-GREAT NOVEL BY JAMES JOYCE, ULYSSES. I TRIED TWICE TO READ THAT THING, BUT IT WAS A FAILURE.

http://www.nationalreview.com/article/456424/bernie-sanders-supporters-messy-cars-correlation
The Great Bernie Sanders/Messy Car Correlation
by HEATHER WILHELM
February 15, 2018 4:00 AM @HEATHERWILHELM

Why can’t socialists keep their vehicles clean? Across the sprawling highways and quiet suburban streets of America, a disturbing phenomenon has taken hold. Perhaps you have noticed it yourself. Perhaps, more troublingly, you are a perpetrator. It’s somewhat sneaky, but you can see it if you know where to look: There is a shockingly high correlation between owning a Bernie Sanders bumper sticker and having an embarrassingly messy car. Lest you scoff, look for yourself. Next time you see a car sporting a Bernie Sanders sticker, there’s a good chance that the inside of the car will look like a rabid wildebeest stampede plowed through a half-hearted garage sale held in that iconic and creepy abandoned amusement park still standing, albeit somewhat creakily, deep in the heart of Chernobyl. * * * * At this point, if you have both a tidy car and a Bernie Sanders bumper sticker, you might be feeling a bit indignant, and understandably so. All I can say is, congratulations! You should feel proud, though I do encourage you to chide any of your messy socialist friends. After all, they are not only making you look bad. They are also illustrating one of the most powerful critiques of socialism — if a society expects everyone else to take care of everything, few will take care of anything — while also giving those of us on the libertarian-leaning end of the spectrum minor panic attacks about the perils of U.K.-style nationalized health care and the overall tragedy of the commons. * * * * I should clarify that I am not talking about junky cars, or old struggling cars, or cars that have been dinged up and need repairs. Such conditions are understandable if you can’t afford to fix them. No, no: I am talking about perfectly nice cars — Subarus or Volvos or Priuses or Leafs — with interiors that look like a cartoon crime scene. * * * * Cars whose mess is so overwhelming that you don’t have to be a snoop, nosily peering into windows in the parking lot, to notice it. It’s a level of mess that could cheerfully break through brick walls, [DO NOT USE AS A METAPHOR SOMETHING WHICH HAS NO PHYSICAL REALITY LIKE MESS “BREAKING THROUGH BRICK WALLS.” IT MAY MAKE YOU FEEL THAT YOU’VE SAID SOMETHING CLEVER, BUT IT IS TOTALLY INEFFECTIVE.] much like the hopped-up Kool-Aid Man of yore. Here are things I have seen in cars wearing Bernie Sanders stickers: broken dog kennels, piles of hangers dangling with dry-cleaner plastic wrap, enough granola-bar wrappers to fuel a walk down the entire Appalachian trail, empty two-liter soda bottles, dirty Kleenex piles, half-eaten sandwiches, and one scornfully unopened copy of What Happened by Hillary Clinton. Often these things are all mixed together, creating a terrifying mélange of slack. * * * * People, this is really not that hard: There are trash and recycling receptacles all around! x 01:28 I admit that my findings are not scientific. They are based on personal observation. With this in mind, for you sticklers out there, I spoke with two automobile experts about this troubling phenomenon. It’s a level of mess that could cheerfully break through brick walls, much like the hopped-up Kool-Aid Man of yore. The first, Twitter sensation and “freelance vehicular anthropologist” David “Iowahawk” Burge — you can follow him at @iowahawkblog, where he serves as one of the rare shining lights in that dark and unforgiving social-media jungle — pointed me to the “old left/right libertarian/authoritarian graph.” This framework argues that those on the left-authoritarian side are more likely to drive a Prius; those on the right-authoritarian side are partial to Ford F-350s. Right-libertarians like me should apparently be driving “a Tesla, a McLaren P1, or a ’33 Huppmobile rat rod,” which is troubling, given that I have no idea what a ’33 Huppmobile rat rod even is. [WELL, I BOTHERED TO LOOK IT UP ON GOOGLE, SO I DO KNOW WHAT IT IS, NOW. HATE TO TELL YOU, THOUGH, IT’S SPELLED WITH ONLY ONE P.]

This is backed up by numerous studies, by the way: Republicans are more likely to drive pickup trucks and Mustangs and convertibles, while Democrats lean more toward hatchbacks and imports and eco-cars. When it comes to the striking correlation between Bernie Sanders stickers and messy cars, Burge concurs with my thesis: “It’s a sincere expression of lack of respect for private property, even their own.” [I BEG TO DIFFER. I HAVE NO ISSUE WITH PRIVATE PROPERTY. I JUST DON’T PLACE “PROPERTY OVER PEOPLE” THE WAY SO MANY “CONSERVATIVES” OF ALL STRIPES SEEM TO. AND, BY THE WAY, WHAT I LACK RESPECT FOR IS SMUGNESS AND SMALL-MINDEDNESS, ESPECIALLY WHEN COMBINED WITH A LACK OF INTEREST IN HOW PEOPLE IN POVERTY HAVE TO LIVE. I ALSO LACK RESPECT FOR NOSINESS AND AGGRESSIVE EFFRONTERY, SUCH AS YOU ARE EXHIBITING.] He also went on to explain the time I saw a sad-looking caged bird in the back of one such car — “Come on, their cats have to eat something” — and astutely noted that bags of cat litter often make up a key ingredient in the aforementioned backseat mélange of slack. [“SLACK!” TUT, TUT, TUT, AS OLD BOOKS USED TO SAY.] * * * * The second expert I consulted, Neal Pollack, a novelist, humor writer, and reluctant car journalist, is personally lukewarm on the cars-are-linked-to-political affiliation theory: “Most people, believe it or not, have little to no political affiliation. They drive cars because they have no other way to get to work.” But what of the seeming correlation between having a faded Bernie Sanders sticker and a mortifyingly messy car? “In a true socialist future,” he told me, “we’d all take the electric tram to work, or at least to pick up our Universal Basic Income check. Sanders supporters are just anticipating that day.” By jove! Of course! Suddenly, it all makes sense.