August 31, 2013

9:02 AM It's another Labor Day weekend. In my younger days in Washington DC I would be going out with friends to the Mall or somewhere, but this year I will be at home veging out. I will read my book some more, I guess. I want to start walking for exercise, though, so maybe I will start going out in the morning before 10:00, and begin that this weekend. When I couldn't get up off the floor at the library, there were two things going on. I think my blood pressure plummeted, because I nearly fainted and it took me 30 minutes or so to recover, but there is also the fact that I have noticed in the last six months or so that when I squat down to get into my lower cabinets in the kitchen I have a very difficult time lifting myself back up again, and need something to hold to so that I can pull up. I think I have not exercised in so long that my leg muscles and the knee joints are weak. I need to strengthen them. Maybe I can also do some leg exercises that involve moving up and down with my knees bent, weight-bearing, in a way that uses my thighs. Maybe I can find some leg exercises on the Internet.

Another kitten was in trouble in the news, this time in Florida. A man named Robert Avery and his son drove his car for a trip of 38 miles at 65 miles an hour, with the kitten on board. The next morning Avery was in his garage, not in the car yet, when he heard something that he said sounded like a frog (really??), and he jacked up the car and found it behind the rear wheel wedged between the suspension and the frame. It was covered in grease, so I guess it had to be washed. He named it Butch and his family adopted it. The article says it is a feral cat, but it apparently is getting along fine with his family, who all love it, he said. At least the story had a happy ending. Cats have a tendency to crawl up around the motor of cars, and are sometimes killed. I have heard that they are attracted to the warmth of the motor, but I have noticed that cat's I've had are drawn to exploring small spaces in general. I almost lost a cat when she climbed into a tight space under the neighbor's house and apparently couldn't find her way back out. I went and knocked on the door of the neighbor's house looking for her, and while I was talking to her, I heard a cat loudly calling. She was so stressed that she sounded like a Siamese, and that neighbor had a Siamese, so I didn't think it was Sally Petunia, but that night as I was lying in bed and trying to sleep I began to think about it. I went back the next day and called Sally. She answered me, and I had to pull a section of flashing to the side to make a hole for her to get out. She immediately poked her nose out the hole and pushed her way through the opening. She was dirty, but unhurt, and from then on I stopped letting her outside except when I could supervise her movements. She was happiest when we lived in Thomasville NC at home, and she could stay outside as much as she wanted to. She was an adventurous and active cat, not a lazy lap cat. She would have been happy in a farmer's barn with plenty of little mouses to catch.

I'm looking things up from my novel on the Internet again. The Internet is addictive, because you can look almost anything up and find out things about it. This one is “digital picture frame.” Apparently it's another new piece of technology, but I had never heard of it. No more paper pictures and metal frames. Those are old fashioned.

11:01 AM I have done some stretching exercises and some for my knees and thighs, and am walking around my apartment while listening to “Wait, wait, don't tell me” on the radio, a news quiz show. One problem I have always had with exercises is the monotony of it. Having something to listen to makes it bearable. On this radio show they are asking the definition of “twerking.” Miley Cyrus has really made it big. Everybody is talking about her. I'm almost beginning to feel sorry for her, though I can't condone what she did.

4:28 I had a brilliant thought. I need to strengthen my legs. I have just gone on Amazon and bought a pair of ankle weights to give me more oomph in my exercising. I chose 1.5 lb. Weights, because I was afraid some of the other sizes will be too heavy for me. It only cost me $18.00 including shipping. I should get them within a week or two.

Back to my reading. There is some thunder outside. I think I'll close this file in case the computer is struck by lightning. Actually, I run a risk of lightning all the time, in that I never turn the computer off. I just close my files. More thunder, and closer. Goodbye for now.

Friday, August 30, 2013

News last night – McDonald's workers are striking for $15.00 an hour, rather than the $7.25 that they are getting now. I don't see the management giving $15.00, but I expect they will get a substantial raise. I hope so, anyway. It's hard to imagine living on $7.25.

News today – New York City subway trains were stopped on several lines for a period variously reported as being one hour to seven hours in different articles, while workers unsuccessfully chased two kittens that were on the track. A woman reported that her kittens were in the subway system, but the article didn't say how they got there. According to a blog, the lady who owned them was transporting them at the Church Avenue station when they escaped. Her carrying case must not have been correctly secured. They were finally captured Thursday evening at 6:00 PM on an above ground branch of the train system after searchers vainly chased them through the system since 11:06 AM. They photographed them, and they were very cute and healthy-looking. I copied the New York Times article onto a word document and sent it to friends by email and also kept the copy for my personal files.

9:17 AM Back to my book. 3:42 PM I had an unnerving episode with my health today. I went to the library and had to squat down to the lowest shelf to look at the books there. I found one, kind of a heavy one, and pulled it out and when I tried to stand up my knees went totally weak and I couldn't get up. I tried for a minute or so and fell back to the floor. I was breathing very fast and having trouble getting my breath, and my balance was off. A library worker saw me and helped me up. My knees were still weak and wobbly. I leaned up against the library shelves while the library assistant pulled up a chair for me from one of the tables. I managed to get into it and sat for about 5 minutes, after which I could get my breath better and I managed to get up and walk. I went to the circulation desk with difficulty, since my knees were still wobbly, but I checked out my books and went out to the car. Still my knees felt unsteady. I drove straight to my doctor's office. He saw me within 15 or 20 minutes and gave me an EKG. It didn't show arrhythmia, though there were several places where the down stroke went a little farther down than the doctor thought was good. He said that there could be a small part of my heart that wasn't getting enough blood. He wanted me to go straight to the hospital and get a stress test, but I didn't want to for mainly emotional reasons – I didn't want to make a bigger deal about it than was warranted. I also just didn't want to admit that I was having that kind of problem. He said for me to go home and drink a glass of milk and take an aspirin, and he would schedule me next week for a stress test. He said if I have another episode like that to go to the emergency room. So I'm here now, having drunk milk and downed an aspirin, hoping it won't recur. I didn't have any pain at all. I was perspiring profusely, which I understand can be a heart symptom. I have bragged too many times about how healthy I am; now I have to start being careful. It was an impressive event, not something I am likely to forget. I take a pill for high cholesterol, which I only started within the last two to three years, though I consistently had borderline high cholesterol. I hope those years of ignoring the problem didn't cause me to have plaque in my arteries.

4:02 PM Back to my reading. By the way I only got two non-fiction books today – one on the history of dog domestication and other scientific facts about dogs. I have started it already and the writing is as easy to read as a novel, unlike some scientific books. I'll get into it as soon as I finish my novel. The other book I got is a history of Florida hurricanes, which also sounds good. Reading now.

The sky is getting dark and thunder is rumbling outside my window. Maybe we'll have a little action. It was predicted for today and for every day this week. According to the weather map there is a cool front moving down from the north. I hope it isn't persistently cloudy for the whole week. That get's to be a drag. The thunder is closer now. Sounds like fun.

News: Towson University cheerleader's team was suspended for the season for hazing. I wonder what the psychological payoff is for hazing? At any rate, I don't think kind people do it, even children. I am of the opinion that in some ways there are “good” people and “bad” people, at least with the ring leaders of such incidents. True many people, maybe most people, in a group psychology setting will just go along with the crowd, so nobody helps the one being harassed except for the unusually courageous and justice oriented ones. Some things never change, do they?

Goodnight. It's time to eat my melted Swiss cheese and whole grain bread.

Thursday, August 29, 2013

7:52 AM Good morning. The sun wasn't up as high in the sky at 7:00 this morning as it had been recently. Autumn is approaching. I love summer, and it seems that it never lasts very long. Of course, Autumn and Spring are both very mild seasons here in Jacksonville, so it won't be cold for awhile yet.

On the news – A new book is out with more conspiracy theories on Princess Diana's death. It never ends. Anybody can dream up a theory. I feel sure none of the royal family would have engineered her car accident. What had she done, or was about to do, to cause anyone to kill her? She was mainly destructive to herself.

Also on the news, the Long Valley Caldera in California has been more active. I didn't get to hear the whole report and wasn't able to find a news article on it on the Internet. Probably earthquakes. I did look up Long Valley Caldera and found a number of entries about earthquakes there. One site monitors the caldera, listing a dozen or more instances of earthquakes, but it said that it wasn't likely to erupt any time soon. I found an article on active calderas in the United States and got a list of them. There are eight or ten, one of which is Yellowstone. The eruption of a “super volcano,” especially Yellowstone, would probably cause catastrophic damage both nearby and for hundreds of miles around, plus shooting so much ash into the sky that the sunshine would be blocked to a great degree. I do hope none of our calderas erupt, because our population distribution is so condensed over the surface that many people would undoubtedly be killed, and life would be really difficult to almost impossible for many miles around. Where the sun doesn't shine, crops wouldn't grow and the weather would be cold. Of course, there is no really accurate way to predict the eruption of a volcano or major earthquake. It doesn't pay to worry about it. It is in the category of things that we can't do anything about.

On the net – I was thinking about a dish my mother used to make that we all thought was delicious. It's tomato bread pudding. Mother's was all sweet, but many of the recipes I found on the net were sweet and savory. It is a hearty and satisfying side dish or dessert. When I think back to my young days, my mother's cooking is one of the things I enjoy remembering. She made especially good cakes. I didn't like her meats as much, because she tended to overcook them in order to be sure all the bacteria were killed. When she was young there was no refrigerator, so food poisoning was a real danger. Leftovers wouldn't last longer than the next day, and the more thoroughly cooked the food was the longer it would keep.

Actually, I can remember an “icebox” that our family had. That was probably because we were poor, but many people in the town still had them, I think, because there was a business in Thomasville that did nothing but supply big blocks of ice. I can remember the ice man coming and carrying the ice into our house, putting it into the icebox. I think I'll look up iceboxes and refrigerators to see when the electrical refrigerators came into use. According to Wikipedia, the mechanical refrigerators were introduced in the 1930's, so we were behind the times in the 1940's with an icebox. Refrigerators were in use as early as 1915, but they sometimes leaked refrigerant, which could be poisonous. Modern refrigerators became more affordable and more reliable in the 1930's, and came into more common use in homes then.

Joy, Perimeter Security's landlady, reactivated my key card because she finally got John's check. She said it doesn't quite cover the whole rent. John can't win for losing. He needs to close the business and sell it if he can. He just doesn't have enough money to pay for his new baby and home expenses and a struggling business as well. I have detached from the whole problem. Joy said she wouldn't trash his belongings, just lock them up, and that was my main worry. I am no longer employed there. I have to let go. I am very sorry for John's predicament, but I can't help him.

News last night – my library branch at Brentwood is one of the two branches that the city is closing. I'll have to go to the library web site and find another nearby branch on this side of the river, or go down to San Marco if it is still open. I'm very disappointed. Brentwood was so convenient. I wonder when they will close it? 12:11 the website has not been updated to tell which branches are closed. I'll have to call them on the phone. I called the Brentwood Branch, and they answered, so they haven't closed yet. I asked when the closing would be, and she said that the whole City Council (or whoever it is that is voting about the issue) has not met and voted yet, so the decision to close it isn't final. At least for the near future they are still open. Meanwhile I did go to the library website and got a complete list of the library branches and hours, plus a map to help me spot which other branches are closest to me. There are two others here on the North side that are still going to be open, so I can drive either to Edgewood off Lem Turner, or Dunn Ave, both of which are closer than San Marco. So my situation is not too bad.

I got the application for housing from Florida Christian. With it, they sent me a business card from SPM, a building management company that I had a problem with at Perimeter Security. They used our guard service for a month free when the building changed hands and the old company overlapped in service dates with the new company, SPM. It turned out our contract was made out in the name of the apartment building, so the old company refused to pay the bill, so we contacted SPM next. When I finally found them in California, they didn't refuse to pay, they just failed to pay. So John never got his money. But the real problem is that when I looked up SPM on the Internet I found a site full of complaints against them from tenants. They have some very poorly run apartments, with the comments running from failure to fix things that needed to be done and renting out dirty apartments to trying to avoid giving people back their deposits and frequently raising the rent. There is only one of the four apartments that will work for me, and their HUD list is closed right now. The lady at the management office said it should open up in October. I'll just wait patiently.

My current novel – The Risk Agent by Ridley Pearson. This is a complex story set in modern day China. The agent John Knox is American, working for an American company in China to find his friend who has been kidnapped, along with a Chinese man whose job was to distribute bribes, which the Chinese call “incentives,” to cement business deals – apparently a basic part of the way business is done in China. Knox's friend was breaking the Chinese law by carrying on an investigation of the Chinese man, so Knox doesn't want to go to the police to have them find him. Likewise the Chinese man who was also abducted was doing something against the law by giving bribes, which though commonplace, are illegal. Knox is being aided in the search for the two captives by a wily Chinese woman who has not been totally straightforward and Knox doesn't fully trust her. Nonetheless, he needs her for her knowledge of Chinese society and interactions, so there is some friction between them as they work together. The story is slowly progressing toward locating the two men, and hopefully saving them. It is interesting, though not fast reading, because it is set in a very different culture from ours. Good book so far.

It's time to eat supper and relax for sleep. The end.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

I spent most of the morning looking up scandal rumors on Obama and Hillary Clinton., specifically about Hillary as a lesbian and Obama as having a drinking problem. All the allegations came from “conservative” blogs or periodicals and I found evidence that both rumors were based on false evidence. Based on writings in the National Enquirer, Clinton was said to be writing a book in which she would “come out” as a lesbian, and Obama's medical report which I read in excerpt included that he should continue to avoid smoking, get daily exercise, drink in moderation, and other general health recommendations. The medical report, from what I read of it, didn't say that he had been drinking too much, and I can't imagine as smart a woman as Hillary Clinton saying that she has had lesbian relationships when she is running for president, so I feel sure that neither is true. The right keeps slinging mud at the Obama administration, but most of it doesn't stick because it isn't true. The IRS examination of right wing organizations which were applying for tax exempt status is the closest thing to a real scandal so far, but even then it has come out that left leaning groups were also denied the status, so it isn't that the Obama administration was out to do harm to political enemies. They were just performing their function as watchdogs. Some people read lots of the politically biased writings and believe what they say. I always want an honest analysis or factual report, even if I'm sorry to get the news, so I don't watch or listen to hate mongers and biased political shows. I think they are a waste of time. Thank goodness for MSNBC, CNN and NPR on the Internet and on TV.

I just looked up the phrase "right wing" on the Net and found a good long article in Wikipedia. The term began in France in the French Revolution. The article is well worth reading, discussing US and world politics in it's various forms up to the present without any bias to either side. I really like Wikipedia. I always find lots of information there.

It's time for supper. The news is on, though the antenna is not bringing it in well. It would be nice to have cable back, but I really can't afford it. Goodbye, World.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

9:35 AM I remembered my pill this morning, have eaten and am watching the Today Show. They are still talking in shocked tones about Miley Cyrus on the show. The worst of the situation is that she has been an idol of young tweens and teens, and now has gone to the extremely negative edge of entertainment. Parents need to watch what their young children buy anyway, of course, but now they can't trust the Miley Cyrus products.

I'm between books now, and I need to pay my bills. I also want to call the apartments in Riverside that Linda Mowers and Lee told me about. I need to find out if electricity is included in the rent there or not. If it isn't, I may be unable to afford it. 2:24 PM I have called all 4 apartments. The one I wanted in Riverside does not include the utilities in the rent, so it's out. She said electricity would be about $60.00, but that is more than I want to try to put into my budget, and besides, from my experience, electricity bills can be outrageously high, especially in the hottest and coldest months. The other Riverside Apt. does include the electric in the rent, but their HUD list is closed now. The lady there said that the list may open up again in October and to call back then. So I will. I also called the two apartments in Murray Hill. The one on Edgewood South is easy to get to – off Beaver St. and near Roosevelt. It does have a HUD waiting list that is active, and I asked her to send me an application. She said she couldn't promise me that the rent would be the exact same amount as here, even though it is at 30% of income, that the base rent and other things might differ. Sounds like I won't know the exact amount until I move in, either. That's not good. How much do I really want to move???? It would obviously be safer to stay here. Oh, well. I don't have to decide yet, and I'm not really unhappy here. Linda wanted me to be nearer some of the other church members so I could get rides.

2:38 Reading again. This is a new novel by Ridley Pearson called The Risk Agent. I have read at least one by this author, I think. I'll start it now. 5:22 Time to quit reading and eat. This novel is about a kidnapping in China. There are some interesting things I have found so far to look up on the Internet, for instance nunchucka and Sherpa. I thought a sherpa was a mountain guide, but it is more than that. There is a previously nomadic people called Sherpa in Nepal, who are noted for their mountaineering skills and have often served as guides. I couldn't find any information about how far back in time archaeologists have traced them. They are mainly Buddhist, but also believe in local deities, spirits and supernatural beings. That would be a good subject to find a book about sometime.

Monday, August 26, 2013

8:29 AM I forgot to take my Fosamax pill this morning. I'm supposed to take it and postpone eating for half an hour. I have already eaten, so I'll take it tomorrow. It will probably be okay to be off schedule a little bit.

I was watching the news and saw Miley Cyrus doing a highly sexual music performance. I was introduced to her in the movie The Last Song, in which she did very well, and I was impressed. Now I'm disappointed. I thought she would be growing up into a thoughtful adult, but apparently not. I looked up her performance on the Internet and I had to research a word from the article “twerk.” According to the article she “twerked” throughout, and many of her audience were in shock. According to the article, Will Smith and his family were in the audience and were very uncomfortable. It was not family fare. “Twerking” is a dance move in which the dancer sexually moves the hips to an extreme degree. It was introduced through the hip hop music tradition in the early 1990's. I'm glad I'm too old to be following any of that kind of music. I'm sorry Miley Cyrus has joined the ranks of the bad girls. I wish she would show her talent for singing instead. We have enough of Lindsay Lohan and her type already. I am not entertained by them.

Back to the novel. The story has come to an end in one way. Hugh finds his wife in prison at Boree and she dies holding his hand. He kills a guard who came upon him and finds the black cross on his neck (tattooed, I gather), and remembers it from the Crusade. It is the Tafurs, the murderous group of soldiers under King Tafur. They are the ones who have been ravaging the villages and homes in the countryside, looking for a relic that they think was brought back from the Crusade. Emillie's Lady Anne is in charge of the Tafurs, who were sent to France by Stephen her husband. So Hugh is now opposing Anne. In one scene earlier Anne is seen talking to one of the Tafurs who I gather is their leader, and she objects to their tactics. He refuses to acknowledge her complaint. The plot thickens. I will continue reading.

Hugh runs from Boree and makes his way back to the village where he lived with Sophie. He finds it in ruins from a raid by Baldwin's men who were looking for him. He convinces the villagers to build up some defenses in the town and prepare to fight the next group of soldiers who ride through the town. Meanwhile, Emillie has come to him bringing Sophie's ashes to be buried. They are becoming lovers, or are about to, when a messenger from Boree runs in and warns the town that Tafurs are on their way. They followed Emillie and told the duke Stephen about it. They are coming for Hugh and the treasure they believe he brought back from the Crusade. He does have a gold cross from the war. He doesn't think it's too valuable, but intends to keep it, having buried it next to his son's body. Meanwhile, it looks like we are about to have a commoners revolt within the next few pages of this book. Reading on again.

6:09 Supper time. I have finally finished the book. It was great. James Patterson has usually published murder mysteries. This was a wonderful surprise. Full of nobles versus commoners and a holy Christian relic.

Sunday, August 25, 2013

10:12 AM Have watched the morning news and read over this whole blog. That's a lot of writing for such a short amount of time. I'm really enjoying writing this. I will keep it, hopefully, forever. I have diaries going back almost ten years on this computer, sometimes faithfully written and sometimes not, but I have read over some of them and found things that when I read them I remembered, and I can hardly believe so much time has passed. As far as events go, this is probably going to be a plateau in my life, since I won't be working anymore and my activities will be simple. If I am lucky enough to continue to have good health, most of the events in my life now will be internal and a matter of spiritual, emotional or intellectual activity. That's one reason I need the Internet, because as I read these various books I run across words or concepts that are new to me and I want to research them. I should go to the library and check out books on non-fiction subjects, though, rather than depending solely on Wikipedia for information. I have done some of that already, especially biographies and want to continue. If I don't keep thinking and learning, I will lose the ability to do it as I age, and I am now at that point in my life. Already I don't remember things as easily as I did as a young person.

I just watched a segment about Florida panthers on Wild About Animals, with Mariette Hartley. Panthers are down to the hundreds in population in Florida, and were so inbred that the kittens were turning out with serious illnesses and malformations. The authorities brought in a number of healthy females from Texas and turned them loose in Florida to provide a new blood line, and Hartley said that the impact was immediate, in that the very next year the kittens found were mainly healthy and whole. They showed the scientists capturing adult panthers with hounds after anesthetizing them. Generally they are found up a tree with the dogs barking underneath. They use a safety net to catch the cat as it falls out of the tree, examining it and maybe giving it vaccines, because I saw them give the cat a shot. I hope they vaccinated it for rabies, since there are cases of rabies every year here even within the city limits of Jacksonville, especially among raccoons and foxes. Then they give the cat a number and put a collar on it, probably so the scientists can track it electronically, and record it in a record of the population. I have seen a Florida panther in the Jacksonville zoo, and they aren't very big, though they say they can bring a deer down and kill it. They are shy and don't aggressively go after humans, though I have no doubt that you wouldn't want to have to fight one. They are absolutely beautiful to me, smooth sleek fur and well-rounded muscles, with graceful movements. They showed some kittens, which were spotted and were spitting and growling as they were handled. I really love cats, for their spirit and power as well as for their beauty, and the wild ones are no exception.

I'm going to wash and curl my hair now. I am still experimenting with the new curlers to get the curl the right degree of tightness. I got too large a curler the last time I did it, and my hair was, as my Mother used to say, “woofy”, which means just barely curled and flaring out from my head. The style was too much like “big hair” for my tastes and I had to keep brushing it down. It is growing out and is at an awkward stage right now. I did trim off the thin layer of fringe at the back of my head on my neck so that it is almost a blunt cut now. That is what I want to keep because it makes a smooth look, and I want to let it grow to about shoulder length. I'm hoping to go back to a pageboy now. I don't want to have to pay for hair cuts at $25.00 each anymore. When it is shoulder length I can trim it myself.

12:29 Reading now. On the Internet, Midsummer's Eve, adapted by the Christian Church as the birth of St. John The Baptist, but celebrated by pre-Christian rites including bonfires to ward off evil spirits and rolling a wheel down a hill to symbolize the movement of the sun. Midsummer Day is the longest day of the year, though the holidays were not always celebrated on the actual longest day. It varies from country to country.

The novel – Hugh de Luc has been hired as a jester in the court of the wicked Baldwin, who Hugh thinks is the lord who kidnapped his wife. He is being helped by the cook, whose cousin Hugh rescued from robbers on the road to the castle. She has him take the food to the prisoners, where she thinks his wife may be, but when he gets to the woman in question he sees that it isn't his wife. He goes to his room. Later he runs afoul of Norbert the evil knight who he is convinced has killed his wife, since she isn't at the castle, and gets thrown in a cell in chains. He escapes from the chains by a trick he has practiced beforehand, and is helped out of the jail by the old jester who is in love with Bette the cook. Before he goes out of the castle he makes his way to Norbert's bedroom and finds him there. They fight and Hugh finally kills him with not his sword, but a knife he had hidden in his belt. Norbert dead, he leaves the castle and goes into the deep woods to escape. He's on the run now.

Hugh went back to the Lady Emillie and was taken on as Jester while the old jester recovers from illness. He is in a safe position until the Lord of the castle comes back from war. He is afraid the Lord will send him back to Baldwin to face a trial for killing Norbert. I'm stuck in the middle of the story and it's too late to keep reading. It's time to eat. Good night.

Friday, August 23, 2013

8:39 AM News – I have just read several of the Internet spots on Nancy Kerrigan. She has appeared on the Today Show this morning and it has been twenty years since her attack. A number of the comments I found are scornful of Kerrigan, especially the photograph of her crying after being hit. I don't see how anyone could fail to be sympathetic with her. She pursued her career with honesty and hard work, and deserved to get the Gold in 1994. Harding took the low road, and shouldn't have won. She was later blamed for the attack, of course, so she was disqualified from skating for life. I see nothing but justice there. I'm not much into sports, but I do enjoy watching the figure skaters. It is a beautiful sport, and should remain pure and free from cheating. To me, sports are a waste of time if they aren't the result of an honest and true effort. What else is there about it to be uplifting?

12:51 news – There is a 91 year old man in California who is working his way up in school. It seems he never was able to go to school as a child. He is now in the 5th grade. It gives me faith that we who are older citizens can still achieve things.

5:35 PM I have finished the novel by Dan Brown. I did guess the identity of the criminal, but not until very near the end. The many turns and twists in the plot line kept me interested, and I looked up a number of mystical references and a couple of scientific concepts that I thought he made up, to find that they are real. He really did a lot of research to write this. I think he may be a Mason himself. The last chapter was like an argument for the existence of God, though it was presented as God within each person. I wonder if Brown is religious – Catholic, maybe? I think I'll look up any biographies I can find about him. Looking now. According to a direct quotation from Brown when someone asked him whether or not he is religious, he said he was brought up in the Episcopalian church and as a child was very religious, but in the eight and ninth grade he studied astronomy and cosmology and lost his faith in the traditions of the church. He said, however, that he is a student of religions and continues to explore spirituality. That's about what I would have expected of him from his writings. Clearly he is deeply interested in religion. My turn of mind is similar to that. Different religious beliefs interest me, but I don't hold a strong religious belief. I go to a Unitarian Universalist Church which has no dogmas, but believes in a Higher Power. I get thoughtful moral and socially conscious talks on Sunday and spiritual participation. All faiths are welcome to attend.


Saturday, August 24, 2013

News – A couple in Las Vegas, identified as being members of the “Sovereign Citizens” movement, were arrested for planning to kidnap, torture and kill police officers, after a swat team captured them. They didn't know that an undercover police officer had befriended them and was following their plan. They had found an empty house and modified it to hold the police officers captive, so they were stopped in the nick of time. I looked up “Sovereign Citizens” and found a great article on Wikipedia, showing their link to “Posse Comitatus”, plus their official website and handbook. Briefly, they are an anti-government group with ties to white supremacy. They are known for filing false liens against government officials whom they oppose, and they don't recognize government above the local level. The Southern Poverty Law Center wrote that there are 100,000 committed Sovereign Citizens in the US, and 200,000 who are showing interest in the group. It didn't say whether they are concentrated in isolated and rural areas, but the list of criminals in the article ranged throughout the United States in location. Oklahoma City bombing conspirator Terry Nichols was a member of the group and had claimed sovereign status in several court cases prior to the bombing. Not all the members are poor or ignorant; one case listed of a dentist and another an accountant. There are many cases listed in the article of the white collar crimes or worse that the members had used to enrich themselves. They especially avoid paying income tax, but are involved also in cases of conspiracy to launder money, commit murder, place bombs, not to mention various petty crimes and generally “acting out” and disregard for the law. I'd like to read their handbook. I'd like to know what it says that convinces its members to be so rebellious and destructive. Maybe they are all sociopaths to begin with, and therefore drawn to a philosophy that says the individual should not be subject to any authority. In looking this up I found links to several other fringe groups – several of which were familiar to me. This group is listed as being domestic terrorists by the FBI. Interested readers might look at the articles by the Southern Poverty Law Center and Wikipedia. The Poverty Law article goes into the philosophy and history of the movement in greater detail. The complexity and bizarre nature of their beliefs is amazing. I said earlier that they aren't concentrated among the poor or in isolated rural areas, based on the Wikipedia article, but the Poverty Law article said that the Sovereign theories are spreading in the prison systems and among the unemployed and desperate. Many of the Sovereigns are black, the article said, and unaware of the racist origins of the beliefs. That was interesting reading, and makes me feel lucky to have been born to the particular family and time period that I was, though I wasn't “privileged” at all, but reasonably comfortable and basically morally trained.

11:21 I'm starting a new novel, called The Jester by James Patterson and Andrew gross. I have read five or six Patterson novels, and they are all good. To the reading now. 1:10 This is the story of a relic. So far the author is telling the story of how the relic came to be brought back to France, and the young man who found it. It is set in 1096 AD. What a nice surprise!

Constantinople – founded in 660 BC as Byzantium by Greeks from Megara in Attica, reestablished as Constantinople in 330 AD under Constantine The Great, capitol of four empires (330 -395 Roman, 395 – 1204 and 1261-1453 Eastern Roman Empire Eastern Orthodox, 1204 – 1261 Latin, 1453 – 1922 Ottoman renamed Istanbul in 1930); located on the Silk Road; now the second largest city in the world; neolithic remains from as early as 7th millennium BC; the term Latin Empire refers to an empire created by Catholic Crusaders to replace the Eastern Orthodox Empire; Constantinople, capital of the Eastern Roman Empire, succeeded Rome and survived the fall of the Western Roman Empire,continuing until 1453 when the Ottoman Turks conquered it.

So in this book, the Crusader group that the hero Hugh de Luc joined reaches Constantinople in 1098 or so, and is waiting to cross the Bosporus and attack the Turks. They reach Antioch and are under fierce assault by the Muslims. Finally Antioch falls. Hugh has seen so much gore and lost all his friends, so he turns around and starts back to France alone.

Tafurs – Followers of Tafur, the military commander of Peter the Hermit, who became known for cannibalizing the Muslims they killed. Also called King Tafur, he was chosen to crown Godefroid de Bouillon as King of Jerusalem because of his power.

Hugh reaches France and finds his wife kidnapped by a local lord who is a brutal man. Hugh sets off toward his castle on foot. He is injured and found by a lady and her guard who put him on a horse and carry him to another castle, where a doctor is brought to care for him. He tells the Lady Emillie his adventures and it appears that she is going to help him now. That's as far as I've gotten in the reading. Back to it.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

8:39 AM I'm up and have breakfasted. It's cloudy. I need to get groceries, so I had better go out early before it starts to rain. Need to make a grocery list. Doing that now.

Looking up things on the Internet really is addictive. I go to the computer multiple times every day just to see what I can find. Just now I looked up “smiling while talking,” which is something that tends to make me trust a person less if the smile is inappropriate or could be an attempt at manipulation, such as a salesman trying to convince me that I need their product. I found comments (probably blogs, because there were answers to most of them published) on every side of the issue. Some people are embarrassed by smiling while talking, because they can't help doing it. It is a reaction to being self-conscious. Others have actually tried to form a habit of smiling, because they think it makes a person look more friendly. The types of situations that I have found it objectionable are, first, when someone is trying to be more persuasive, in which case I just think they are lying and trying to manipulate me, and second, when the subject is or should be a sad or serious matter, and they seem to be feeling humor about it and enjoying it. In the second case, it is probably the reflexive smile some people were talking about which is actually a reaction to being nervous. I feel a little more forgiving of the reflexive smile now after reading the comments, since it probably doesn't mean they are enjoying a situation of discomfort, but I still don't agree with the philosophy of creating a false smile to try to manipulate. I still don't like manipulation and manipulative people. I am a person who has to trust others to interact happily with them, and I don't trust the social smile, even when I am being introduced to someone. One of the articles contrasted the social smile or false smile with a real smile, which moves the muscles around the eyes as well as the mouth. A false smile only involves the mouth, and may seem tight and tense. So I say, don't smile unless you are really feeling relaxed and happy, and don't smile when you hear that someone you know has died, or when someone is sharing a painful moment in their life with you. That doesn't make me feel that I am talking to a friend. My problem is that I sometimes frown when I'm unconscious of it, and it makes me look like I am displeased. Some people have mentioned it to me, and asked me what's wrong. Often when they ask me that, I'm simply tired, and the lines of my face are pulling downward.

I should go to the grocery store soon. It's still dark outside and may rain. I always dread going out until I get moving, so I need to get moving. It will actually give me some stimulation and make me feel better. 11:07 Well, I'm back. I spent $36.00, but I got at least a week's worth of food. At $36.00 a week for four weeks I will still be within budget for food, and I don't usually spend that much. It did start to rain after I got in the store, but I managed to get into the car without getting very wet, with my umbrella. It isn't a blowing hard kind of rain, but just small drops. It's what Daddy used to call a soaking rain, and he liked them because they are good for the garden. A heavy rain may wash the soil away or pack it down, and doesn't go as deep, reaching the roots of the plants.

12:24 PM There is no news at noon today because the weather report is following a tornado warning on the border of Duval and St. Johns counties. It was described one time as a water spout, so probably won't be very destructive, though the weather man said a water spout can do damage if it comes ashore. Right here the clouds are thinning and I can see some blue sky, but there is a large stormy area off the coast and moving inward, so we may get some active weather after all.

5:24 I forgot bread at the store and had to drive back. I also went to the library to get a couple of books, though I forgot to bring back the ones I had finished. That's okay. I renewed them all by telephone.

It's suppertime. Goodnight.

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

10:54 AM I'm reading again. It's the Dan Brown book, The Lost Symbol. As usual with Dan Brown, there is lots of woo woo in this one. In followup to what I'm reading I've already gone to the Internet for Freemasonry and Noetic Science. The most interesting thing I found about Freemasonry was the fact that most groups of Masons are strictly segregated racially, though there are Black Masonic lodges. Many of the white masonic lodges still don't recognize the black groups as legitimate. There is one group in Atlanta of white Masons who have initiated two black members, though, and there may be more that I didn't find in my search. At least they are making progress.

On the other hand, the boy and girl scouting movements were segregated during the early 1900's. The Boy Scouts were finally sued in 1974 by the NAACP and desegregated. The Girl Scouts began voluntarily to open up in the 1950's, and were praised by Martin Luther King, Jr. for their efforts. Still, there was a recent incident in which two black girls were expelled due to a talk they gave about their parents civil rights activities. I never had any kind of racist references of any kind from anybody, nor ever observed any, when I was in the Girl Scouts. Our troop leaders were both very generous and openhearted people. I will say that the issue of race was never discussed, however, so maybe there were simply no incidents that inflamed racist reactions, and there were no black girls in our troops. There were no civil rights activities in Thomasville when I was growing up, so I was not “awakened” to the issue until I was in college.

11:30 AM Back to Dan Brown. This book is interesting. It may not be a murder mystery, but it is enthralling. Lots of suspense and small clues to trace.

5:33 I have just come across a Masonic “Chamber of Reflection” in the book, and it is gruesome. I can see why they keep their rituals secret. I will stick with more positive and simple philosophies. I found a description of it on the Internet, too, so it's not exactly a secret, I guess. But the symbolism of the skull and crossbones and the scythe is very dark. I think things like that pull the person who pursues them down emotionally, and I am prone to depression.

Back to reading.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

8:13 AM News – there have been 299 dolphin deaths and strandings on the east coast so far this year, as compared to 111 for all of last year. Some had pulmonary lesions and one had a virus similar to the one that causes measles, morbillivirus, which killed 700 during the years of 1987 and 1988. I hate to see dolphins die, because they are so friendly with humans and so intelligent, plus in a fishy kind of way they are really beautiful and graceful. I grieve whenever I hear of sea life dying, because we have over-fished to such a degree that whole species are becoming endangered, and still the unrestricted fishing goes on. Every time they hunt tuna they get dolphins in the net. I forget where it was happening, in Europe I think, but some tuna fishermen look for dolphins hunting tuna – they can tell where the tuna are by the large group of dolphins gathered together and jumping up out of the water – and they put out very large nets around the whole group of tuna and dolphins and draw in the nets. The dolphins can't get out and they drown. That's why there are those statements on the can of tuna saying that no dolphins were killed. The news story said that that is probably not true. That so many fishermen use that technique that there probably were dolphins killed. I don't boycott very many things, but I have stopped buying tuna. I don't even like it as much as mackerel anyway, and mackerel is less expensive. When I had a cat I used to buy a can of mackerel and divide it up into three servings, one to eat,two to freeze and always feeding my cat some. Normally I only gave her dry food, but she did love mackerel.

Reading – This book is definitely a thriller. The villain is a very spooky bad guy, looking for the “Ancient Mysteries” of the Masons. The author makes it clear that the Masons are a force for good, and the two Masons who are in the story so far are presented as being very powerful and deeply involved in mystical things. Langdon is, too, of course, in that he is a scholar of symbolism. Right now the villain has made it into Katherine Solomon's laboratory and is pursuing her in a pitch dark room to kill her. She has been doing laboratory experiments in Noetic Science to prove some of the ancient stories true, and the Villain is out to stop her. It was stated that he is under a very strong conviction that the world will change if the Ancient Mysteries are proven to be fact and not legend, and he thinks it is imperative that the information in the Mysteries remains dark. He has a Middle Eastern name, but the author has not made it clear whether he is with a terrorist group or what his affiliation is. Why does he want the world to remain ignorant? So his people can manipulate politics or the world cultures to gain power? I have yet to find out. Back to the book.

10:24 AM The sky is dark and thunder is rumbling around. I hope we get an active thunderstorm. It breaks up the monotony and gives me a good light show. Good background for a mysterious novel, too. Hopefully we won't lose power.

Friday, August 16, 2013

It's 1:25 PM. I did the budget and came up with what looks like reliable figures. After my basic monthly expenses, including GEICO and AT&T for the Internet markup (to 76.00), and my food and drug store costs and Gasoline, I will have $160.52 for everything else. I have called those discretionary expenses, and they won't all need to be spent in a given month. The list is staggering, however – hair cuts, printer supplies, LULU costs, dentist, doctor, NPR, AMTRACK, car repair, restaurants, clothing. The only one I need to spend for this coming month is printer supplies. Car repair, if it comes up, is likely to break the budget, but so far the car is running fine. I'll have to go into savings for car repair, but maybe I can put a small amount into the savings account monthly from this discretionary spending if I don't need to spend it during that month.

I have mailed the finished MCD application off with proofs of income and the July resignation letter to show that I am no longer employed. I should hear from them in about a month, if it takes the same amount of time that it did before. I think I've done everything I need to do about my finances for the time being.


Saturday, August 17, 2013

9:24 AM I have produced a downright beautiful budget and monthly expenditures sheet on the computer. Computers are really wonderful. My handwriting, no matter how neat I try to be, could never look like this, and I can easily correct any errors without having to copy the whole danged thing over! I transposed the costs over directly from the June 2013 bank statement to produce the list of predictable expenses. The trick is to stick to this basic needs list each month. I made the budget and monthly expenditures sheets from one that I found on the Internet. I will do an exhaustive list of what I spend each month, using this sheet, and hopefully not go over the amount I have allowed myself. I have $160.52 left over for discretionary expenses, which is also enough that if I do no impulse spending, I can hopefully save some (put it directly into the Savings account) each month toward car repairs, AMTRACK and Dental costs. My Discretionary expenditures list includes all the things I could think of that come up occasionally, namely hair cuts, printer supplies, LULU costs, Dentist, Car Repair and Maintenance, Psychiatrist and other specialists, NPR, Movies, AMTRAK to NC, used clothing and Restaurants. These don't come up every month, so it gives me a small cushion each month so my checking account doesn't go into the red. This is good progress toward my personal security.

I have the meeting with Linda Mowers today at 11:30 and I plan to give her a copy of this budget and monthly expenditures sheet. I will start each monthly sheet with the date I receive the social security payment in the month PRIOR to the month of the expenditures so the money will actually be in the bank when I start to count up the expenditures. I will set up my checking account starting with the social security payment and spend that money only each month and keeping my bank register in accordance with that amount, filling out the monthly sheet as I make expenditures and omitting no spending item from the list. That way I won't go over. This is the plan. If I can't live within this budget I will soon find out and make a new budget.

3:29 PM – I'm back from lunch with Linda. We met another church member, Lee, who is almost as old as I am and is living in a senior apartment building where they also have HUD financing for some of the apartments. She and Linda talked to me about possibly moving over there to the neighborhood, Riverside, where I can get HUD housing and be near 15 or so church members. The benefit of that, other than making friends with them, is that if my car gives out and won't run anymore I can sell it and get rides from them to church. It is also a somewhat safer neighborhood than this one is, though I feel fine here out walking in the daytime. There are more shops and restaurants there within a few blocks, and I noticed my bank has a branch there, plus there is a Publix and a drugstore, all within easy walking distance. Lee said there is a waiting list of 6 to 12 months to get into those buildings, but I'm fine here until one comes open. So maybe I'll move in the not too distant future. Something to look forward to.

Reading my prehistoric story again now.



Sunday, August 18, 2013

8:20 AM It's sunny and a little cool, with the air conditioner on. I have my sweater on. I'm watching channel 4 news. Then I will start back on my book. This morning with breakfast I was watching a tape of a Discovery Channel show about the Iceman who was found in the Alps about ten years ago (or more?). That was an amazing find for the archaeologists. Not only do they have his almost perfectly preserved body, but his kit of traveling tools, bow and arrow, some dried mushrooms for fire starting and perhaps also for medicinal use and leather clothing with a grass cape made like one that was used into the 20th century by shepherds in that part of Europe. That's really wonderful. That's why I like folk stories. There are nuggets of true information passed down in old stories, and they may go back thousands of years.


Monday, August 19, 2013

10:10 AM I have finally finished The Land Of The Painted Caves, and I was right. There was no big climax. The whole long story is a series of scrapes and emotional events between Ayla and Jondalar, but no long-term broadly developed plot. It ended happily after Jondalar began to go out behind Ayla's back with the bad girl of the story, Marona, because Ayla was spending too much time becoming a Zelondoni. Ayla saw them together and went to the Mother Festival, during which everybody in the Cave had the right to “share pleasures” with anyone they wanted. Jondalar, though he had not had the courage to make it up to Ayla for being caught with Marona, saw Ayla with another man named Laramer who was most disliked by Jondalar of all the people in the cave, and pulled him off her, beating him nearly to death. This display of jealousy was against the beliefs of the community, because of the damage jealousy does to the peaceful continuance of the society, and Jondalar was required to take care of Laramer's family. Laramer luckily moved to another cave to live, so Ayla and Jondalar shouldn't have any more trouble from him.

Ayla meanwhile, in grief after finding out about Jondalar's affair, was not speaking to Jondalar and he was avoiding her. Both were blaming themselves, but were not doing anything to pursue a reconciliation, so they both were severely depressed and somewhat disturbed mentally. Ayla continued her work with Zelondoni, and foolishly agreed to test some roots that she had brought with her from the Clan, which contained a very powerful psychotropic chemical, so Zelondoni could consider using them for medicinal purposes. Zelondoni also took a dose of the medication, but didn't take as much as Ayla did. Both were strongly affected by the drug, but Zelondoni recovered fairly soon. Ayla was unconscious and her body was unnaturally cold. Zelondoni had her carried to the Zelondonia dwelling and put to bed, with several sleeping furs and hot compresses to wake her up. Still she didn't wake up, so Zelondoni called for Jondalar to be brought to her, since he had returned her to consciousness once before in the caves of the Mamutoi when Ayla and Jondalar were travelling on the trail to the land of the Zelondonii. He stayed by her bed and talked to her and held her hand, with the help of Wolf who also shared the vigil, until finally she opened her eyes. Miraculously, she was no longer angry at Jondalar for having a fling with Marona, and was grateful for the reconciliation. Ayla had recently convinced Zelondoni that it was the “sharing of pleasures” that caused babies to develop in women's bodies, rather than just the will of the Great Mother, and Zelondoni had told the whole community about it. Jondalar, therefore, had a new understanding of the harm that was done by having sex outside of the pair bond, and promised never to do it again, and Ayla promised as well. The rest of the story is about living happily ever after, and they are last seen out at the swimming spot on the river with their horses and Wolf nearby. The end.

Today I need to go to the drugstore to pick up three prescriptions and go to the Perimeter Security office to get the keys which are on my desk there. Joy wants them slipped under her door in the building. I have emailed her asking exactly where her office is, and if she has deactivated my electronic door key yet. If she has, she will have to meet me there and open the doors for me. I'll call her in a few minutes if she hasn't emailed me an answer. I also need to call the bank and find out if my social security has come in yet. I can't start keeping track of my spending until I get it. I want the money to be in my account before I start using it up, to record everything and be sure I'm staying within my budget. The budget will run between months because my social security money comes in on the middle of the month and otherwise it won't be there for the rent due date, in other words it will cover August and September, etc. I'm going to use the table of monthly expenses that I set up on the computer the other day. My bank register will show the correct amount that is in the bank account, but the monthly table will show the budget, and hopefully any amount that I may be able to save toward car repair or dental work.

I just talked to Joy, and she said she has already deactivated my door key, so she will meet me some day next week. She is travelling now. She did pull the extra keys off my desk, she said, but she didn't see the mailbox key. She also said somebody from Duval County called her asking for John, and she gave him John's email address. Probably about the business license.

I called the bank, and the money isn't in yet. Richard said Social Security, going by my birthday, pays on the third Wednesday of each month, so I have a few days to wait. I looked on the calendar, and that's the 21st. I'm so excited about this new budget I made that I can't wait to get started on it. I was dreading setting it up, because I expected it to be confusing and hard to manage, but all I did was go through every entry in my bank statement and look at each expenditure. Then I chose the vitally important ones, totaling them up. I was delighted to find that I had over a hundred dollars left over, with only the occasional items to take care of, which don't come up every month. I have budgeted the Internet and the car insurance in, so I don't have to give them up.

It's 12:08, so I'll eat and watch the news and Do You Want To Be A Millionaire now. 1:03 PM, it's Soap Opera time, so I'm turning the TV off and starting on Dan Brown's book, The Lost Symbol. It seems that I may have read this one already, but it has been 8 or 10 years, so maybe I'll enjoy it. 2:41 PM I'm trying to read The Lost Symbol and having some success. It's full of mysterious references and has introduced a man who is totally tattooed from head to foot, who keeps saying “It's buried out there somewhere.” Fascinating.

One of my less desirable neighbors is playing rap music as loudly as he can outside my open window. I just gave up and closed it, so I won't get the beauty of the fresh air. It's hard to read a book with that rap going on. Reading now.

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

2:49 PM I spent most of today trying to get Richard on my car insurance so we can share the use of the car and I can pay my car insurance. I'm trying to avoid having to sell the car and depend totally on the bus system and hoofing it for short distances. GEICO is going to charge about $35.00 more to add him. I need for him to pay me rental to cover the insurance. He was satisfied that he could do it at $56.00 a month, but is not sure about $81.00 a month. He said he will tell me in a couple of days.

The other financial thing I'm trying to arrange is to get Medicaid to pay for my Medicare premiums. The Senior Citizen organization I called today thought that my income and assets are within the range where they should pay. Medicaid sent me a denial and also a letter asking for me to finish my application, both sent within a few days of each other this week, so I hope that means that the denial isn't final. So on the advice of the Senior Citizen worker I am filling out the application page they sent me and sending it in before 8/30/13. If Medicaid won't pay for those premiums I will be short the $104.00 that is currently being deducted from my Social Security payment, so I do hope big time that I am not denied on that. I'm going up to Publix to photocopy the additional application page and the letter they sent me accompanying it, so I can send it MCD tomorrow. Crossing my fingers!

Back to reading.


Thursday, August 15, 2013

1:58 PM I have been reading all morning. I'm still on the Auel book, though I'm getting near the end. I'm wondering how she is going to make a climax and ending to this story, which is not an adventure nor a drama. It is mainly about people in the different cave dwellings and how they survive and form their cultures. It's interest value is in providing an alternative to the reader's daily life and modern society. Maybe the story will just quietly come to a stop.

I have called Linda Mowers. She left me a message on my answering machine. She wants to get together to discuss some things she said the Church may be able to help me with financially. I hate to depend on them, but my present income won't allow me to keep the car too long and the Internet, and she said the Church could maybe pay some of those bills. If I had access to the car they wouldn't need to find rides for me to take me to church. She is coming over this Saturday at 11:30 to take me to lunch, maybe with another woman from the church, so we can talk. Being in this position is embarrassing, but my budget is so tight that I really do need help. The church got involved when I sent them an email resigning due to financial reasons, and Linda called me and told me I don't have to resign. I can come without paying anything, and some people in the church may be willing to give me rides to get there if I have to do without the car. This will help. I should do a budget, though, which I haven't started yet. I need to come to the meeting with Linda knowing how much money I need. While I was working I was making just $300 or $400 a month, but it was enough that with my Social Security I was having no problems. As a result, I didn't really make or keep to a strict budget, and now I don't know how to.
That's a good project for my next few days – write up a budget.
I have called Richard. He wanted to go to Publix this afternoon before 3:00, he said. I'm waiting for him to call me back. I have to go to Publix to make photocopies of some paperwork. 4:13 I just looked at my emails and he emailed me. He said his brother has refused to give him any money toward renting the car. I am now dependent on the Church if I keep the car. Richard also said he has decided not to go to Publix. I think I'll go now.


I went to Publix and got the photocopies. I also got $16.00 worth of groceries, which I needed. Then I stopped at Wendy's on the way home and bought a “double stacker,” in other words a small double cheeseburger. I really like the moisture and flavor of Wendy's hamburgers, and the double stacker only costs $2.13, so I can afford a few of those. So I'm settled for the night. It's 5:12, in other words time to eat and watch the news.

Monday, August 12, 2013

I got on the computer to look up some genealogy at about 8:30 AM and searched until 1:30 PM, and even forgot to eat until the phone rang and I got up to answer it. I found a bunch of Wallaces and Manesses and Morrisons and a short list of Thomases. Moore County and Montgomery County NC are hotbeds of genealogy enthusiasts. The one website The Wallaces of Moore County has all of those names listed on it. I copied a lot of it off into a Word document to keep. I found another Rossie Maie Thomas about grandma's age who was a negro. I didn't think the Thomases owned any slaves.

Then I ate a late lunch and went downstairs to Richard's apartment and watched a very good movie called The Last Song about a musically proficient young woman whose father is a composer of songs. It is a love story and features the girl's relationship with her terminally ill father. It was sad, but good.

6:30 PM enough writing for now. That's all that happened today.


Tuesday, August 13, 2013

12:39 PM I've been on the computer surfing the web for articles on magical thinking and the psychology of it. I read from 8:00 AM to 11:30 or so. Time flies when I'm looking on the Internet. I have an acquaintance who believes or half believes the woo woo that he hears, which half irritates me and half worries me. I think people who are very gullible are either educationally challenged or not completely sane. Why do some people use logic to get through life, while others are superstitious or very trusting in whatever they hear as a source of wisdom? I hear all kinds of things, but if it doesn't sound like it's true, I don't believe it. There are people who make up stories for the fun of it, and I don't want to be their victim. There was one article on the net today on “bullshit” versus “lies.” I have a certain appreciation for bullshit, in that it can be viewed as a form of humor, but I don't believe in it to give myself a source of security. I think some people believe in magic to give themselves the confidence to get through life. It's a substitute for religious faith. I am a skeptic, so I don't believe in the supernatural. That has made my adjustment to life harder, and it's harder to have faith that the future will be secure and good, and as a result I have more anxiety than some people do. Still, I just can't do all the “believing” that is necessary to join a strict religion or blindly follow a leader. I go, when I go, to a Unitarian Universalist church which doesn't have rigid doctrines. They never ask me to believe anything that is improbable. It satisfies my need for a church, which is a couple of hours in which I give over my thoughts to uplifting and peaceful contemplation. It helps me have a positive attitude about the facts of my life, and opens me up to other people. It doesn't make it impossible for me to think clearly.

I have a meeting down in the auditorium for signing my new lease. They get a big group together and go page by page and talk about what it says on the page, then tell us where to sign or initial it. It is a big bore, but there is a need to do it, so I grin and bear it. It has some interest value because it gives me a chance to see all the other people who live in the building, which can be entertaining.

I didn't comment on the weather. It's supposed to 97 degrees today. So far it isn't that hot. It's my understanding that the day reaches it's fullest heat at 3:00 PM, due to the length of time that the sun has been shining. I basically enjoy high heat if I don't have to spend too much time in it. Sometimes in Jacksonville on a really hot day you can see steam rising from the sidewalk after a rain storm. That looks impressive.

1:18 PM – More reading, in my novel this time. 3:32 PM I attended the meeting about the lease, and they abbreviated the procedures. Rather than having us all go page by page through the lease and look at each, the young woman from the Housing Office just told us about four changes to the whole lease, and didn't require us to go to each one and read it. Then she just told us to go through on our own and sign or initial, as indicated. It took under half an hour. The only interesting change is that the whole building will be non-smoking as of October, except for the balconies. Are they going to burst into our apartments and try to catch us smoking inside? Luckily I quit smoking in 1995. Back to my book now.

I went to the Internet again to look up “wild grains” in a followup to the novel I'm reading about prehistoric times. I found an article, a blog actually, about wild grains. They also discussed something called the paleolithic diet. Sounds like a fad diet. It is a low-starch diet, called paleo because some think that paleolithic hunter-gatherer people didn't use grains much as opposed to the high starch diet of agricultural peoples. This author Auel has her characters gathering wild grains, and I wanted to see what kinds of edible wild grains there actually are. The article on wild grains said that there are some 60 kinds of edible wild grains, and that in parts of Africa the native people gathered a large amount of wild grains and depended on it up to about a hundred years ago. It was an interesting article. I've always been interested in knowing how to forage for food in the wild. The old farmers of the southern United States ate some wild plants and hunted a variety of animals. They were poor and didn't have grocery stores on every corner. They bought staples in town when they went, which was only occasionally, and depended on their farms and the nearby woods to round out the diet. I have eaten wild rabbits, squirrels, opossum and turtles. I have always been curious about what rattlesnake tastes like. I draw the line at bugs, however. I would really have to be starving to eat that.

5:35 It's time to eat and watch the news. Goodbye.

Friday, August 9, 2013

Mayor Alvin Brown answered my letter about the library. He didn't promise to keep the branch open, of course, but did write a substantial answer to my comments. I just hope they don't close that library branch, because it's on a bus line that goes straight down Pearl St. past the library and I can get to it even if I no longer have the car.

Richard has decided, at least tentatively, that though he can't buy it he can afford to rent my car on a monthly basis for a number of trips to the beach to sing and to Walmart and Publix. If he pays me $70.00 a month rent it will cover my insurance costs and allow me to keep the car, and still give me the use of the car into the foreseeable future for trips around town. At some point the car will simply wear out, but Hondas are long-lasting, so I expect to keep it another three or more years. I have the savings account to cover car repair costs, if they aren't too expensive.

I just found a long Wallace and Maness family tree on the Internet and emailed it to Gwen and Hilda. I was looking under Lucy Maness and found my great, great aunt Lucinda. I don't know who originated the family tree, but it includes lots of Wallaces, Manesses and Deatons and is quite a few pages long.

I'm just reading again today. This Auel book is 700 pages long, so I will be reading for quite a while. I don't have any pressing errands to do, although I need to go to Publix for yogurt and canned milk, plus some more canned beans and cheddar cheese and dried plums. It doesn't have to be done today, though.

I just realized today that I forgot Gwen's birthday because I didn't have it written down on the calendar. I have almost no sense of time, at least beyond the span of a day. That is one reason why writing a diary like this helps me. It keeps me from going too far off into daydream land. I also find that I can read it again after some time passes and it's almost like someone else wrote it. It's a surprise to read it, since I don't remember the words.

I'll end now, and go back to reading my book.


Saturday, August 10, 2013

Good morning. It's 8:13 AM, and it's a sunny mild day. It probably won't go over 93 today. That's about what we've been having for the last three or four weeks. I hope it doesn't, because I turned the knob on my air conditioner to the off position and found that it is stuck and won't move in either direction now. I need to call the office downstairs and get somebody to come up and fix it, but today is Saturday and they aren't there, so I may be very hot today.

News – a high end shop in Switzerland refused to show Oprah Winfrey a $38,000 handbag, saying it was too expensive, according to Oprah. The shop owner said there were language problems, and that the store clerk wanted to show her a similar bag made of other materials. Oprah said it was racism, the clerk assuming that since she was black she couldn't pay for it. Apparently the clerk didn't recognize her face. Too bad that it still goes on.

It has occurred to me that adding Richard to my insurance policy and the trips to the beach that he wants to make will very likely make my insurance bill go up to a point that he can't pay enough rental to cover it. I'll have to call the insurance company and find out, and then mention it to him. I may have to sell the car outright and start walking to the grocery store. I dread that, although it would be good for my physical condition. I don't take enough exercise.

According to the weather man, we are going to have beautiful sunsets due to Saharan dust coming all the way from Africa. Amazing.

I have two red to purple spots on my left hand just under the skin. Mother used to get these. I googled it, and discovered Bateman's Purpura, which is sometimes caused by sun damage, but use of blood thinners like aspirin was also mentioned. I think the aspirin is the most likely cause in my case. Purpura is considered to be harmless, and I need the aspirin to prevent blood clots and to work toward preventing alzheimers. I read that on the Internet. I just take one aspirin a day. All in all, I guess I won't worry about the red spots, other than the fact that they aren't attractive.

I need to gather the clothes and go downstairs to do laundry, but I can't bring myself to do it yet. Soon, though. Still reading for now.

12:44 PM I'm taking a break from reading. Fox Channel 30 is showing Brideshead Revisited. I've seen it before, because I remember the opening, but I can't remember the story, except I can see that it is about a young man flirting with the gay lifestyle. I'm curious to see how it turns out.

1:31 PM I'm not enjoying this movie. Though I am tolerant of gay people, both male and female, and have known several fairly well, I am more likely to sympathize with lesbians than men. I think women have had to put up with more problems having to do with their gender than men have, and I cut them more slack when they don't conform to the norms. Men have fewer legitimate complaints, I think, since the world bows to them in business relationships and family structure still in this day and time. It does, however, demand that they be strong rather than weak, since they are the leaders and strength is needed to overcome problems. Strong men who are gentle are the ideal. I prefer strength in women, too, though. I think it is a basic part of beauty and grace, whether in a man or a woman, and I have more respect for emotionally strong people. I think weak people have a problem being honest and straightforward in their dealings and are more likely to be manipulative. All this sounds like I don't think gay men can be strong, but I do know that some of them do play a dominant role – not all gay men are effeminate. I knew the most gay men within my experience when I lived in Washington, DC and was in A.A. There were some predominantly gay groups there, and a fair number of gay people in the other groups as well. They often added depth to the group discussions. Wendy and Karen were both friends with several gay men, and I was friends to some degree with some lesbian women. I prefer to keep some distance from them, however, as I don't want to join in with any gay relationships. They are often very interesting people, though, intelligent and complex. Having problems to work through makes people more interesting to me. People who happily follow the crowd no matter where it leads and don't think things through for themselves get on my nerves.

5:50 PM Richard and I went to Publix and I got about a weeks worth of groceries. It was cloudy like it would rain for sure, but it didn't and the clouds have moved off now. Goodbye for now. It's almost supper time.

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Hello, World! We're having a hot day in Jacksonville. Luckily I got the air conditioner knob to turn again, because I really need it. It' going to be 95 today. It's 12:56 and I have just finished washing and drying and partially folding two loads of clothes. As usual after carrying things, my back is hurting. Lifting and bending over does make me hurt, though the rest of the time I don't have a problem with it. I'll lie down awhile now on my back and read. That should cure the pain.

I have had lunch and am feeling good except for my back. This Jean Auel book is interesting in the same way that Robinson Crusoe is, or a non-fiction book about backpacking across the country and roughing it. Real life adventures are as interesting as a murder mystery, and you can learn more from them. This book mentions lots of herbs and plants which she uses for medicine. I don't know how well-researched it is, but I expect it is pretty true to life. Auel mentioned in her foreword that she has been advised by archaeologists and anthropologists about how her characters live and do things, and if I remember correctly, she was or is married to an archaeologist, so I think I can learn a fair amount reading this novel. It's fun at any rate.

It's 6:05 and time to eat. Time to try to find some news on TV, too. Good night.

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

11:06 AM I have just written a letter to the mayor, president of the city council and chair and vice chair of the library board. I got the email addresses from the desk attendant at the Brentwood Library Branch. They are thinking of closing the Brentwood branch to save money. Brentwood is my local branch and is on an easy bus route from my apartment. I laid out the neighborhood's needs for local library branches and my personal need for a convenient location, especially now that I will have to give up my car. Also, I just simply like the cozier, more personal atmosphere at a smaller branch.

Richard wanted to go to Firestone to get them to show me how to read my 5 digit odometer. I'll call him and see when he wants to go. I would rather wait until after lunch now that it has gotten so late.


Friday, August 9, 2013

Mayor Alvin Brown answered my letter about the library. He didn't promise to keep the branch open, of course, but did write a substantial answer to my comments. I just hope they don't close that library branch, because it's on a bus line that goes straight down Pearl St. past the library and I can get to it even if I no longer have the car.

Richard has decided, at least tentatively, that though he can't buy it he can afford to rent my car on a monthly basis for a number of trips to the beach to sing and to Walmart and Publix. If he pays me $70.00 a month rent it will cover my insurance costs and allow me to keep the car, and still give me the use of the car into the foreseeable future for trips around town. At some point the car will simply wear out, but Hondas are long-lasting, so I expect to keep it another three or more years. I have the savings account to cover car repair costs, if they aren't too expensive.

I just found a long Wallace and Maness family tree on the Internet and emailed it to Gwen and Hilda. I was looking under Lucy Maness and found my great, great aunt Lucinda. I don't know who originated the family tree, but it includes lots of Wallaces, Manesses and Deatons and is quite a few pages long.

I'm just reading again today. This Auel book is 700 pages long, so I will be reading for quite a while. I don't have any pressing errands to do, although I need to go to Publix for yogurt and canned milk, plus some more canned beans and cheddar cheese and dried plums. It doesn't have to be done today, though.

I just realized today that I forgot Gwen's birthday because I didn't have it written down on the calendar. I have almost no sense of time, at least beyond the span of a day. That is one reason why writing a diary like this helps me. It keeps me from going too far off into daydream land. I also find that I can read it again after some time passes and it's almost like someone else wrote it. It's a surprise to read it, since I don't remember the words.

I'll end now, and go back to reading my book.

Monday, August 5, 2013

11:38 AM I am overjoyed. I found my car title. Instead of putting it in the drawer with the rest of my important papers, I had put it in a file folder marked Honda 1993. The folder was in a cloth valise with some other special files, and stored beside the dresser up against the wall in a place that I almost never go. Out of sight, out of mind! This saves me $85.00, which I thought I would have to spend to get a copy of the title.

I went to the library and didn't get murder mysteries. I'm trying to broaden my reading and include some classics and non-fiction, plus popular fiction. I went to the regular fiction section and got The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown and Jean Auel's The Land Of The Painted Caves. I have read all of Auel's other stories and for a number of years was waiting impatiently for her last in the series, then I gave up thinking about it. I was afraid she had decided not to produce another one. I am reading the last one now. It's very long, so I'll be busy with it for a week or more.

Speaking of authors, I looked up J J Jance on the Internet a couple of days ago and found a link to click to email her. I wrote her an email and she wrote me back within twenty minutes or so. She is very personable. I have saved her email onto a word document so I can look at it from time to time. She's one of my favorites, so it's a bit of a thrill to have made contact with her. Every time I read a novel I look at the author's picture to see what I can of their personality. To have an email from her is very special.


Tuesday, August 6, 2013

It's warm and moist today. It's right at a temperature that I keep having to turn the air conditioning on and off, since I have no intermediate settings. There is no rain so far, but it is cloudy and humid, so maybe it will rain later.

Richard wants to take the car to Firestone to have them read the odometer. It is a 5 digit odometer, and they “roll over” to 0 after they reach 99999, according to an article on the Internet, so you have to know how to read them to see how many miles are on them. He wants to try to figure out how much more life the engine has in it. He read something on the Internet that said that most 4 cylinder engines are done for at 200,000. I basically have faith that Hondas are such well-made cars that they will run longer than most other brands before they give out, and that theoretically you can keep it running forever if you keep doing repairs. Of course, he has only so much money for repairs. And there is no way that I can guarantee the life of the car too far into the future, though I would expect at least another three years or so. This particular Honda has been cared for well while I have had it, and that certainly helps. We are going to the Firestone place tomorrow to get them to look at it. There is another man who has offered to buy it from me, but I would rather sell to Richard for selfish reasons. I have taken him to Walmart and other places a number of times now, and he said he would return the favor to me if I need a ride. Oh, well. I'll know more tomorrow. Still, he has to scrape up the money to make payments or he can't buy it.

I'm slowly reading The Land Of The Painted Caves. It's interest value is in the cultural interactions and survival techniques of the people. It does remind me of an anthropology course I took in college, which I liked a great deal. I'm enjoying it.

Sunday, August 4, 2013



9:13 AM I read half a day yesterday, and then went down to Richard's apartment and watched a couple of things he taped off the TV. It was a documentary about amusement parks, which wasn't too interesting to me. It was mainly lots of footage about roller coasters. The other thing was fun. It was the TV comedy Two And A Half Men, and though I had been interested in the title I had never tuned it in. Most of the sitcoms are on channels I don't get or at hours after I have retired to try to relax for the night, and something that makes me laugh is not relaxing, but exciting and stimulating. I want a quiet documentary about archeology, history, psychology, nature or other thoughtful subject especially if it has some nice background music.

This morning I am going across the river to Ginger's house to meet her and Raquel and go to a restaurant for lunch. This may be my last trip down there in my car. Richard wants to buy my car, and I need to sell it. He is arranging the finances to buy it, and said it would take a couple of weeks. I will have to get used to traveling there by bus. I need to call the city bus route and schedule telephone line to find out which buses to take and when.

Right now I am reading. I will have to get dressed to go about 10:45. Over for now.

4:58 I had a good time today, and ate lots of delicious salad and a couple of muffins. We went to Sweet Tomatoes, my favorite restaurant except for Gene's Seafood. On the way back Raquel told us about a new little cat she has adopted. I asked her if she had given it a rabies shot and she said no. Ginger and I both jumped on her, unfortunately,. She says she can't afford it, but I got on the Internet after I got back here and found half a dozen places in Jacksonville where she can get it vaccinated, and many of them are only $10.00 or $15.00 for a rabies shot. I have copied those onto a word document and called Ginger's home number and left a message for her to give me Raquel's email address, so I can email the document to her.

Enough writing for now. Goodbye.

Friday, August 2, 2013

9:43 AM Warm already. I have the air conditioner on. The Today Show has on right now a new band consisting of four siblings, with a strong voiced lead female singer. It's called The Band Perry. They are playing a sort of half country, half rock music, and it's very good as background. I haven't started any activities yet. I need to go to the library and pay my rent. I think I'll call Richard and see if he wants to go to the library. I was telling him he can get DVDs and CDs at the library, including non-fiction material. He doesn't read well, he says, so he doesn't read books. He had a rough time growing up, and barely finished high school. He does better in arithmetic, but didn't understand algebra and geometry when he was in school. He ran a leather shop down at the beach in his middle years. He is 63 now, I think he said. He watches PBS all the time, and tapes documentaries and cooking shows, so he must have some ability to think, therefore a normal or higher IQ. He just can't read well, which will hold anyone back in all the high school courses because of all the reading that has to be done. And lots of people don't do well in advanced mathematics. His family life was horrible, which often keeps teenagers from being able to concentrate on studying. He is a conservative Republican and a born-again Christian, but he doesn't seem to have any anger at me for being the opposite in my leanings. I am not thinking of a romantic relationship with him – or with anyone for that matter – so I don't care about his politics as long as he doesn't want to fight about it. He listens to Rush Limbaugh, but with a grain of salt, he said. He finds Limbaugh amusing. I don't, though I keep myself from being upset by him by never listening to him. Every now and then he makes the news by some particularly outrageous thing that he has said, so I am forced to pay him a little attention.

Call Richard now and see if he wants to ride down to the library and get some DVDs or CDs.

5:22 PM Richard had to wait in his apartment for a delivery. He orders lots of stuff over the Internet and has them delivered. I went on to the Perimeter Security office to get the State employment information so I can remove our workers from the company roles on the Internet. I'll do that tomorrow. Then I went to the library and got two books, regular fiction. Then I went to Publix to get food and then to Walgreen's for my prescription. It all took a little over an hour, and I was really overheated by the time I got here. I did go by the office and get the rent paid, and then lay down on the bed after putting the groceries up and drinking two large cups of water. I called about getting a copy of the title to my car so I can sell it to Richard if he still wants to buy it. It is going to cost me $85.00 to get a copy. Rats. I have no idea where it is, or when I last saw it. Well, it's supper time now. News on and relax for bed after I eat. Good night.

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Here I am again on a sunny morning, reading Wormwood. This mystery author is not my favorite kind. I like a police story or at least some real action. Hers is a humorous and lightweight leading character, and so far there is no suspense. Her lead character is China Bayley who owns a tea shop and the characters are all the “New Age” sort of personalities – casually well-to-do and into gourmet food. I can't relate very well to them because they have no real problems. China is the narrator of the story. I am going to watch as I read this story to see how to write about a main character narrator in the first person, though. The use of English in this book is very good – very skillful descriptions and conversations. I do find that most of the books that I find in the public library are well-written. Libraries don't pick poorly written books for their shelves. I think I may start choosing British and American classics again soon, though, rather than mysteries. I'm getting tired of mysteries, except for the best of them. For the last ten years or so I have read very little else. Of modern novels, mysteries are the most reliable for interest value, as opposed to romances. I just don't like graphically described sex scenes and the soap opera story lines of most romances make me want to retch. Pardon my language. At any rate, I think I'll go to the classic fiction shelves next time I go to the library.

Back to my novel for now. I have to stay in the apartment today, because the building management is going to be working on the elevators and turning the power on and off. I don't want to go down to the bottom floor and have to walk up 9 stories to get to my apartment. This would be a good day to call Hilda and Gwen and Cookie.

3:19 PM The management announced that there will be repairs on the elevator and power outtages, but so far they haven't followed through. Every now and then they announce that they are going to do something and we who live here disrupt our day to work around them, and they just don't do it. Now I wonder if they will do the elevators tomorrow or the next day, and I'll be in here waiting for them again. I hope not. Tomorrow I need to go to the library to get more novels to read. It will be closed on Saturday.

I did call Hilda. She sounds fine. She has a doctor's appointment tomorrow, but it is just a checkup. We talked about writing and what kinds of writing we like best. This book Wormwood is basically well-written, but so far no excitement, and I'm on page 53. It's supposed to be a murder mystery, so she will have to produce a body sometime soon. The lead character is a little too everyday for suspense. I'll keep reading to see how it develops. Back to it now.

5:57 PM I've had supper and am getting to close things down for the night. They didn't work on the elevators and did leave another flyer on my door saying they will come back and do it on Monday. There was a lively thunderstorm about 4:00 PM. I read some more on my book, and it is moving toward a little suspense now. I don't want everything I read to be suspenseful, but if it's supposed to be a murder mystery, I do. So much for that. Goodbye for now.