Monday, September 9, 2013

News – A “blogger couple” decided to try to change their relationship from a close friendship of four years by agreeing to date every day for 40 days, to see if they would become committed lovers. They “broke up” at the end of the 40 days and became good friends again. It has been my experience that I either have “chemistry” with a man or I don't, and I just accept whichever the situation is. In my only experience of being close with a man for a long time without actually making love, it was because he was full of anxiety around the subject of sex and had had two traumatic and disappointing relationships with women when he was young. I found it hard to deal with someone who wants to kiss and hold hands and all that jazz without going any further. I did continue the friendship/relationship, accepting the limitations in order to keep the closeness which was there in full, and I'm not sorry I did.

What I have often wondered about many times is the old institution of arranged marriages, in which the couples, I have no doubt, often had little fire in their relationships, but managed to complete the necessary activities enough to have half a dozen kids. Maybe it was a one-sided relationship, with the man simply accepting that the woman was cool sexually, but compliant. Or maybe they read the Sanscrit Kama Sutra by Vatsyayana and followed the directions there. I got it out of the library one time and read part of it. It is a sex manual for the first interactions, telling the man exactly how to approach the woman gradually over a period of time, getting her used to his touch, until she becomes interested. In the Eastern cultures where many couples had never even met before their wedding, it would probably be a very important tool. According to Wikipedia, the Kama Sutra is an ancient sacred Hindu text (one of a group of such texts referred to as Kama Shastra), as sensual or sexual pleasure is one of the four main goals of a balanced Hindu life. The text discusses love and family life as well, and Hindu virtue in general. It was composed somewhere between 400 BCE and 200 CE. With the aid of an Indian archaeologist and several other scholarly people, Sit Richard Burton published it in 1883.

Reading The Butler now. 1:06 PM I finished the book. The first section discusses the interviews with Allen and his family. None of the conversations and interactions between them appeared in the book, so they have been created from beginning to end by the writer of the film, though the son told Haygood that the film captured the tone of the life in the family home, and since he was arrested for civil rights activities I would assume that the conflicts found in the movie between him and his father would have occurred. The life of the butler within the White House is given as being a constrained relationship, since his function there was to be pleasing to the presidents and keep the household running smoothly. Several of the presidents, however, did reach out to Allen as a person whom they respected to a high degree, and were often openly friendly to him, inviting him to events or outings on which he was not required to serve them. The last president under whom he served was Ronald Reagan, and Nancy Reagan invited Allen and his wife to a state dinner with a distinguished foreign guest. There were apparently other such invitations, too, because his wife was said to have a number of dresses and hats that she kept as a memento. Allen, however, was not allowed to talk about what happened while he was at work, even to his wife, who explained to the neighbors that Allen couldn't answer their questions. In Allen's last years he was able to vote for Obama for president. His wife, unfortunately, died the night before they were going to go out to vote. President Obama gave Allen a VIP invitation to the Inauguration. Allen died in 2010, and there was a large funeral with well-known guests. President Obama didn't go to the funeral, but sent flowers and a letter to be read aloud praising Allen's service.

The final portion of the book reviewed the movies down through time that either focused on blacks or starred black actors and actresses, finishing off with a section on the making of the movie The Butler. , and then by a section on the various presidents' contributions to the civil rights activities, laws and achievements of those years. I would heartily recommend this book to anyone who lived through those times or who would like to learn more about the subject. The section summarizing the responses Hollywood made to the issue is worth the price of the book, as the viewpoints exhibited by the movies in large part reflect the larger society. It is a good reference list for those who would like to see more movies about black issues. The book is 96 pages long, so it's a fast read, and it only cost $16.75 including shipping. It was great!

I am now out of library books, so I need to go get some more, plus go to the grocery store and the drugstore. On the other hand, I really ought to pull one of the books I already own out and read that. They all “looked interesting,” which is why I bought them, but since I have tended to read mainly mysteries from the library I haven't gotten to them. I'll try to do that today. Done – I'm going to read Loose Change: Three Women Of The Sixties, by Sara Davidson. It was recommended to me by my sister Hilda. I probably borrowed it from her, and have kept it all this time!

5:08 I just got back from a wild goose chase out past Dunn Ave. I wanted to go to Walmart for printer ink, but when I looked at the cartridge I had in the printer to check the number, I copied it down wrong. Bummer! They had it out there after all, but I was afraid to buy it. Now I'll have to go back some time soon. I'm not entirely out yet.

Then I went to Publix for a load of groceries and Chad Henderson was there. I was so glad to see him. He looked sharp. He said he is still taking courses. I think he was studying IT. I used to have him fix the computer at work when cords had to be located out of the tangle and checked. It seemed that every time I would call the technical assistance number they wanted me to simply pull plugs out and then plug them back in again. I guess they can work loose so that they aren't making contact anymore.

Well, it's supper time, though I'm not really hungry. The end for now.